He had a penchant for historical biographies, an affinity for Bruce Springsteen and a weakness for romance. He loved his wife and children and his job with the New York City Fire Department.
In retrospect, some might call it prophetic that Capt. Joseph D. Farrelly would leave a note on his wife's pillow professing his love to her the night before he went missing in the World Trade Center catastrophe -- as if it foreshadowed the impending disaster he would confront.
But for the 47-year-old firefighter with a brave face and a soft heart, writing love letters to his wife was as natural as waking up in the morning and fixing her lunch. She would often find a note waiting for her on the dashboard of her car, by the bathroom sink or under a magnet on the refrigerator. "I can't begin to tell you how much I love you. Words are inadequate," he wrote before embarking on a 24-hour shift. "Already I can't wait to get home. Hope you had a good time today. Love you. Joe."
After scribbling that short message on Sept. 10, Mr. Farrelly left his Prince's Bay home for Engine Co. 4 at the South Street Seaport firehouse in Manhattan. His wife hasn't seen him since, and now her husband's last missive waits to be framed.
"He used to leave me notes all the time," said his wife, the former Stacey Goldberg. "He was extremely romantic." Secret plans for weekend getaways in New England were plotted between shifts at the firehouse, and he never skimped on quality -- a dozen roses was his trademark gesture of devotion to his wife, just for being her.
Born in Newark, N.J., Mr. Farrelly grew up in nearby Old Bridge, N.J., and showed an interest in firefighting early in his life. There was something about the camaraderie among the firefighters, the changing nature of the job and the chance to make a difference that beckoned him.
When he was hospitalized with smoke inhalation after a terrorist's bomb exploded at the World Trade Center in 1993, Mr. Farrelly accepted it as part of the job. "He always wanted to be a fireman, and always wanted to be a New York City fireman. That was like the ultimate for him," Mrs. Farrelly said.
He got his chance in 1973 -- at the ripe old age of 19 -- when he was hired by the New Brunswick Fire Department. At the time, Mr. Farrelly was the youngest person ever hired in the department. He was also one of the first to go when cutbacks forced the department to downsize a few years later.
Mr. Farrelly supplemented his income in those days by repairing Volkswagens on the side. He honed his skills as a firefighter by joining the South Old Bridge Volunteer Fire Company. In November 1978, his dream was realized when he was called to the New York City Fire Department.
He was married the following year and moved to Huguenot. The couple settled in Prince's Bay two years later. Before he went missing, Mr. Farrelly had been planning his 25th wedding anniversary, to be celebrated in Ireland.
He took pride in his knowledge of fire prevention and shared it with children on the South Shore. He was known as "Fireman Joe" to students at PS 3, where he taught children "not to be a afraid of the men in the masks."
Mr. Farrelly loved children. He never took a second job, unlike many firefighters, because he relished the time he could spend with his sons and daughter. In most of the photos in the Farrelly family album, he is surrounded by children. A doting father, he volunteered as an assistant Boy Scout leader when his sons, Ryan, 19, and Devin, 18, were small, and enjoyed watching his 11-year-old daughter, Juliann, come of age.
He was active in the PS 3 and Totten Intermediate School PTAs, forever hanging decorations from the classroom ceilings. For years, he and his wife sheltered infant foster children, many of whom were neglected. They only stayed with the Farrellys until a suitable home was found, and it is unlikely any of them will ever remember Mr. Farrelly cradling them in his arms. But he was touched by each of them. "When they'd cry at night, he'd get up and feed them," Mrs. Farrelly said. "Sometimes I could hear him talking to them, saying 'Don't worry, things will be OK. You're going to have a good life.' "
His neighbor and friend, Vanka Gialella, remembers how Mr. Farrelly and his sons saved her vacation when her street flooded and the water was rising in her basement. She was scheduled to go to Norway the next day, but the chances of her leaving appeared increasingly slim. "Then I hear this sloshing sound coming down the street," she recalled. "It was Joe and his boys, wading down the street carrying buckets and mops."
The men formed an assembly line and emptied the basement of water, a bucket at a time. "He was a very generous man. He did a lot of things for a lot of people," Mrs. Gialella said. "Where did he come from?"
Mr. Farrelly loved watching "Jeopardy" and "The Honeymooners," and spent many hours walking along the beach with his black Labrador, Clancy. He was an avid reader, and digested the New York Times from cover to cover every day. Before the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center, he was in the middle of a biography on President Andrew Jackson.
Staten Island Advance, 2001