Martin DeMeo, of Farmingville, was a 16-year veteran of the New York City Fire Department, working in the hazardous materials unit in Maspeth. Remains were recovered.
Martin DeMeo used to be disappointed if he wasn't working when a "big job" occurred, his wife, Joanie DeMeo, said. "He always wanted to be out there helping in a big job. It's ironic, he died in what was the biggest job there could be."
But, early in their 18-year marriage, "he talked about death. He felt he wouldn't live a long life," said his wife, now 58. "He felt if he could envision how he would pass, it would be doing something he loved, and that was firefighting. Almost like this."
His other passion was baseball - as a Yankees fan, memorabilia collector, and father of a Little Leaguer. Their son, Nicholas, 14 when his father died, pitched a game the Sunday after 9/11.
His father stressed discipline and persistence, and "it kept his focus in the right place during a very difficult time," DeMeo said. "My son was very angry, and if he didn't have that focus I'm not quite sure what direction we'd be heading in right now.
In late December, Nicholas DeMeo will graduate from the New York City Police Academy. The DeMeos' daughter, Kristen, 26, is "quite happy," working as a Suffolk County probation officer, married to a NYPD officer, her mother said.
DeMeo is now in a relationship with a retired firefighter, and they are close friends with her late husband's best friend, Frank Virga, and his family. Virga, also of Farmingville, helped get a ballfield in Morris Avenue Park named in DeMeo's honor.
"He was a true friend; if you needed him for something, he wouldn't ask questions. He'd just show up," Virga said. "I think about him often. It's a little bit easier now, and sometimes more difficult."
DeMeo "was just a regular guy, but he was my hero and my children's hero," his wife said. "He was fun-loving and an incredible father and I miss him every day."
New York Newsday, 2011 - "Ten Years Later"